FF8 E-mail Pals
by whitemage2002
Summary: The characters from Final Fantasy VIII are sending each other e-mails back and forth… however, they do end up going insane. UPLOADED: CHAPTER 3'S UP! READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1: Rinoa & Squall

Disclaimer: Here I go again, sayin the stupid disclaimer… well, as all of you probably know, I don't own any of the FFs. Yes, this means I don't own Squaresoft either… if I did, then I would be mega rich and not have to beg my parents for a Playstation 2… Well, enough of the disclaimer already! I said it, didn't I?  
  
Authors Note: this, officially is my third fanfic. The characters from Final Fantasy VIII are sending each other e-mails back and forth… however, they do end up going insane. Well enjoy the SHOW!  
  
Final Fantasy VIII e-mail Pals  
  
  
  
To: squallthelion@whatever.balamb.com  
  
From: squallismineandiwannabealion@ihatemyfather.timberforestowls.com  
  
Subject: Hi SQUALLY! Miss you!  
  
Date: October 21, who knows what the year is?  
  
Hi Squally! It's me, Rinoa! Remember me? Oh course you DO! Yep, I am your annoying beautiful girlfriend!!! It has been soooo long since I last saw you… it was like, 10 MINUTES AGO!!!! OH MY GOSH!!! I NEED TO SEE YOU SQUALL OR I AM GONNA END UP DISTROYING THIS WHOLE GARDEN BECAUSE I WILL GO CRAZY FOR NOT SEEING YOU FOR SUCH A LONG TIME! I know, it's like, 5 a.m. in the morning and you just barely got rid of me, but I need to see you! You know why? Because you are MINE, Squall! MINE I SAY!!! MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I just fell off my chair… I'm okay! You don't have to be worried to death about your beautiful girlfriend Squall! Well, I can't stand not seeing you any much longer! Yes, I know, you had to deal with me for the last 24 hours but I know you MISS me as much as I MISS you! So, I'll be right over! Okay? So like, don't you run away from me!!! oh, and I'm gonna make a real BIG ENTERENCE into your room, so look sharp and don't sleep. Although you probably won't check your mail at 5 a.m. in the morning though huh? Well, who cares?! I'll be right over!!! Don't sleep away from me!!!  
  
P.S. You probably won't get the chance to sleep at all today! ^_~ But who cares when you are with your beautiful, not annoying GIRLFRIEND? Oh and I do hope you read this before I arrive… but you probably won't since my room is next to yours! Well, the closer the better right? Okay, I'll be right over. I know my e-mail was short, but I'm soo eager to see you my dear Squally!!! LOVE YA!  
  
P.P.S. I'll give you my wonderful kisses in your room, not through the mail. It's better right? I mean, come on! You are my boyfriend! Ya Know? (I got that from Rajin. Ain't it great?) I'll be right over and give you kisses, read you a bed time story, etc. Okay, enough blabbing! I'll be right over!!!!  
  
P.P.P.S Oh yeah! And I'll make you breakfast too! I know I am a horrible wonderful cook! You absolutely adore my cooking! That's why you hide it under your bed to save for later right? Okay… enough is enough… I'll really be over this time!!!  
  
P.P.P.P.S I forgot to tell you… see ya in about 15 seconds! Isn't that the longest time?  
  
-From a very happy and hyper Rinoa  
  
*************************************  
  
To: squallismineandiwannabealion@ihatemyfather.timberforestowls.com  
  
From: squallthelion@whatever.balamb.com  
  
Subject: …  
  
Date: October 21, who knows what year it is?  
  
Rinoa… I am very thankful that I was able to get rid of you. Although it took me until 11:59 p.m. I am now able to peacefully get some sleep. The thing you definitely do not allow me to do. Before I sleep, however, I have one word to say to you my dearest: whatever. Now I bid you good night and please, do not barge into my room at 5 a.m. in the morning when I had just left you at 4:50 a.m. especially when I have an important exam that day at 6 a.m. in the morning and must get some sleep. Good Night.  
  
PS. Please, do not cook me any more meals for it gives me serious headaches and stomach problems such as diarrhea and an "F" on an exam which costs approximately 99% of your entire grade, which determines whether you graduate or not.  
  
PPS. Oh and please, refrain from calling me Squally from now on. My name is Squall and it embarrasses me when people laugh at me when you call me Squally. I am, supposedly, a very tough person. Please, I beg you, allow me to get some sleep for my other final exam I have tomorrow. Once again, Good Night PLEASE!  
  
-From a very tired and depressed Squall  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************  
  
Author's Note: Well, folks did you enjoy it? if you give me a lot of reviews, I'll write another chapter with the rest of the characters! So REVIEW AND REVIEW! 


	2. Chapter 2: Pigtailed Girl & Zell

Disclaimer: too lazy to write it over… see chapter 1….  
  
Author's Note: Helloooooo PEOPLES! Look what I have for you! Yep, chapter two of FF8 E-mail Pals! On this one, I decided to take one of my reviewer's requests! ^__^ Zell/ the Pigtailed Librarian! Enjoy! ^_~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
To: givezellhotdoggies@yo.balamb.com  
  
From: thesadgirlwithnoname@ilikebooks.balamb.com  
  
Subject: secret, please reply…  
  
Date: October 22, who knows what year it is?  
  
Dear my hotdog prince, Zell,  
  
Please, reply this mail Zell, I have to tell you one thing… I really like you… *blush* really like you, kinda like love… no, just like love…or at least that's what I think. I love the way you barf when you eat too many hotdogs. I love your obnoxious, crazy, and rude behavior. I love your big ugly tattoo on your face. I love the way you annoy people by swinging your fists. I love your blabbing mouth, unable to many secrets. Many girls may think little of you because of the things I love about you. I, myself, personally think that they are insane for not liking you. Now, I want to know how you feel about me Zell. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Please reply as soon as you can.  
  
PS, please reply back to me!  
  
PPS, please return the book, "How to Blab More about your Deepest Darkest Secrets While Fighting Your Worst Enemy" you have checked out from the library, with my ID. It is a very expense book, costing about a hundred thousand dollars, a book I obviously can't afford, and is 20 months overdue, causing me to pay about $5000 in fine, and may even send me to jail if you don't return it soon for you have checked it out with my ID.  
  
PPPS, please reply back!  
  
PPPSS, please reply back!! THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART!  
  
*~* From, your pigtail librarian  
  
  
  
To: thesadgirlwithnoname@ilikebooks.balamb.com  
  
From: givezellhotdoggies@yo.balamb.com  
  
Subject: Yo!  
  
Date: October 22, who knows what year it is?  
  
Yo yo yo PIGGY-TAILED GIRL! Waz UP??? IT'S ME YOUR HOT DOGGIE DOG! HA HA HA HA! SOOO, WANNA KNOW A SECRET? Squall failed his test! Yeah! Can you believe it? squall! He told me yesterday and told me not to tell anyone else! Oopss… I just said it, didn't I? Oh well! Wanna know another one? Quistis failed pre-school! Ha ha! Pre-school! Wat'd she do? Fail nap time? Ha ha! She made me promise not to tell anyone the day before yesterday. Oops! Told some one else! Oh well! I know another secret! Seifer STILL SLEEPS WITH HIS TEDDY BEAR he got for his pre-school graduation present! HA HA!! He told me if I tell anyone else about his secret, he'll kill me! ha ha! Seifer, the tough guy, with a teddy bear? HA HA! Oops! I told someone else again. Looks like I'm gonna be killed. OH WELL! Life goes on! Wanna hear about somthin real interestin? Well, I ate about 100 hotdogs during lunch and barfed on the teacher when she was handing out the tests! Ha ha! Yeah! Go ZELL with your rude obnoxious and disgustin behaviors!!!! And wanna know somethin else? Because I barfed purposely on the teacher, I have detention for like FOREVER! Cool huh? HA HA HA!  
  
Ps. Oh I accidentally gave that expensive book for Rinoa's dog to go bathroom on and threw it away! HA HA HA! Oh well! Good thing I didn't use MY ID!! HA HA HA!  
  
Pps. So what was the thing that you wanted me to reply back to in your last mail? I read it and deleted it and now I forgot what it was about! Oh well! HA HA HA HA HA!  
  
_from the hot diggie dog, ZELL!  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Should I continue? Depends on your reviews! 


	3. Chapter 3: The All Mighty BAKA Seifer & ...

FF8 E-Mail Pals Chapter 3  
  
Author's Note: Woo-HOOOO! I'm BACK! It's been a while hasn't it? I kinda lost interest in writing fanfics and almost quit. But I changed my mind! For those of you who don't like my stories, well, THOUGH IT! No one told YA TO READ IT! And I HATE YOU TOO! :b And to those of you who like my stories, I LOVE YA! And for your nice reviews, I will continue WRITING! :D I present, FF8 E-Mail Pals Chapter 3!!! R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: Ya think I wanna SAY this? Well, I don't… So see CHAPTER 1.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
To: squallthelion@whatever.balamb.com  
  
From: iamallmightybowdownbeforemethegreatknight@ihatesquall.balamb.com  
  
Subject: MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Date: October 23, Who knows what year it is?  
  
Greetings, my dearest enemy Squall. I have just returned from killing Zell for blabbing my dearest, darkest, secret. I now wish to do the same to you!!! MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You know why??? Because I AM ALL MIGHTY!!! I am the KING!!! Look at my e-mal address!!!! I AM THE ALL MIGHTY!!!! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, THE GREAT KNIGHT!!! YESSSS!!!! ME!!! I am ALL MIGHTY! Now, Squall, don't cry! You should be grateful to be killed by someone as mighty and majestic as me!!! SEIFER!!! MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!! Owwwwwww!!!! I fell of my CHAIR! Owwie!!! EVIL CHAIR! You SHALL DIE!!! How DARE you attack me?! the mighty KING? DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Yesssss!!!! In case you were wondering, I have just split the EVIL chair in half! This I wish to do you you!!! You shall DIE my dearest evil enemy SQUALL! What kinda name is SQUALL anyways??? Too bad you don't have the same majestic name as MINE!!! SEIFER! The GREATEST name in the universe! You know why it is so great??? Because I am THE ALL MIGHTY!!! EVERYTHING I AM, EVERYTHING I DO IS ALL MIGHTY, MAJESTIC, AND GREAT!!! MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! So, Squall, are ya ready to die??? MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! After I kill you, I shall be KING!!! KING OF THE WORLD!!! Than all people shall really bow down to me!!!! Ha!!! How about that Squall? Ready to die??? Muhahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I shall sneak attack you tonight at midnight!!!! This is a major secret!!! You never tell anyone when you are gonna sneak attack!!! And I have kept it a secret!!! Hahahahaha!!!! I think… I'm pretty sure I didn't tell anyone…. AHHHH!!!! Now you have confused me!!! for this, YOU SHALL DIE!!!! DDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! MUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (AN: Seifer fans, don't kill me for this. I had to write about something!)  
  
…From the all mighty king, Seifer!  
  
  
  
To: iamallmightybowdownbeforemethegreatknight@ihatesquall.balamb.com  
  
From: squallthelion@whatever.balamb.com  
  
Subject: Baka…  
  
Date: October 23, Who knows what year it is?  
  
(AN: Before you actually read Squall's letter, you need to know that Squall is kinda hyper right now. Rinoa gave him a bowl of candy for breakfast so you won't see Squall's "whatever" attitude in this e-mail. But don't worry! I assure you Squall's original attitude WILL be Back!) Yeah, yeah, yeah… whatever you say oh all mighty STUPID Seifer. Do you know why this e-mail is titled baka??? Do you even know what baka means? It's Japanese for STUPID, IDIOT, and DUMMY, the thing you definitely ARE! You told me in your last letter that you were gonna sneak attack me at midnight you idiot! It's not a sneak attack no more is it?? Well, I'll be ready for ya, oh all mighty STUPID Seifer.  
  
-From Squall  
  
  
  
To: squallthelion@whatever.balamb.com  
  
From: iamallmightybowdownbeforemethegreatknight@ihatesquall.balamb.com  
  
Subject: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Date: October 23, Who knows what year it is?  
  
Nooooooo!!! It is impossible!!! How can my perfect sneak attack plan fail!!! It is impossibleeee!!! You are stupider than me SQUALL! Ohhh no!!! it is 11:58 p.m.! NOOOOOOO MY PLAN CANNOT POSSIBLY FAIL!!! AHHHHHH!!! *Accidentally kills himself with his gunblade by panicking too much*  
  
PS. Seifer's ghost: AHHH!! I KILLED MY SELF!!! Don't worry Squall I SHALL BE BACK!!! THE ALL MIGHT SEIFER SHALL BE BACK! AND HOW DARE YOU MOCK MY NAME?! Ummm… can someone please get me a phoenix down? Please?  
  
…From a very dead all mighty Seifer  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
AN: Like it? And please REVIEW! NO FLAMERS PLEASE! I might continue this depending on your reviews! 


	4. Chapter 4: Ya Know Raijin and FUJIN

Author's Note: I'm BACK AGAIN! This one, I'm gonna take Quisty's request and do Fujin and Raijin! Yipppppppieeeeeeee!!!! ^_____^ So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the FANFIC! =D  
  
Disclaimer: Yep, you guessed it. Look at Chapter 1.  
  
FF8 E-Mail Pals  
  
By Whitemage1021  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 4: Fujin and Raijin  
  
To: onewordonlyandincompletesentencesgirl@kickraijin.balamb.com  
  
From: whydoikeepsayinyaknow@nopropergrammar.balamb.com  
  
Subject: Ya Know  
  
Date: October 24, who knows what year it is?  
  
Yo Fujin! Waz up? Ya know. I'm doin fine! Ya know. Ahhh! Why can't I stop sayin ya know?! Ya know. There I go again! Ya know. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Ya know. NOOOOOOOO!!!! Ya know. Help me stop! Ya know! Anyone! Ya know. Look at my e-mail address! Ya know! I seriously need help! Ya know! What's up with me??? Ya know? I CAN'T STOP! YA KNOW! Ahhhh!!! I'm drivin myself crazy! Ya know! Fujin, help me! ya know! That's why I'm writing this! Ya know! I even can't help writing ya know, ya know. I got an F on an essay paper because I can't stop sayin ya know, ya know. Because of it, my mommy spanked me and I still say ya know, ya know. If I lived at home, ya know, I'm pretty sure my mom would have killed heself, ya know! AHHHHHH! Ya know! Still saying Ya Know! Ya know. What's with me, ya know? NOOOOOO!!!! Ya know. AHHHHHHH!! Ya know. Get away from me!!! Ya know. Ahhhh get the ya know phrase away from me ya know! Help me Fujin! Ya know. You're the macho scary women! Ya know! You scare me all the time. Ya know. So scare ya know away too. Ya know! Help meeee!!!! Ya know! Heeeeelllllllllpppppppppp!!!! Ya know!!!! That's it! ya know! I'll kill you right now, ya know! Ya know! DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE! Ya know! Owwww! I hurt my self, ya know! Ya know hurts me when I hurt it! Ya know! Go away!!! Ya know!!!!! Heelllllppppp macho-women Fujin! Ya know!!!! HELP! (AN: Okay, I KNOW I'm exaggerating A LOT. But, hey, I needed to make it funny)  
  
***FROM Ya know Raijin, ya know  
  
  
  
  
  
To: whydoikeepsayinyaknow@kickraijin.balamb.com  
  
From: onewordonlyandincompletesentencesgirl@pirates.balamb.com  
  
Subject: Re: Ya Know  
  
Date: October 24, who knows what year it is?  
  
STUPID. NO MACHO. YA KNOW YOU. TROUBLE. CRAZY. DEAD. HATE. KICK. NO MACHO! SCARY, NO! KILL! DIE! MAD!  
  
FROM. FUJIN. MAD.  
  
  
  
  
  
To: onewordonlyandincompletesentencesgirl@kickraijin.balamb.com  
  
From: whydoikeepsayinyaknow@nopropergrammar.balamb.com  
  
Subject: What, ya know??  
  
Date: October 24, who knows what year it is?  
  
Yo Fujin! Ya know. I can't understand you. Ya know. You ain't helping. Ya know! Where's the macho power? Ya know? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Ya know! See, ya know! It's back again! Ya know! I swear, ya know, it's tryin to murder me or somethin! Ya know! HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP MEEE!!! Ya know! GET AWAY! YA KNOW!!! *Runs out of his room to escape from "ya know." Unfortunately, he runs into the wall, while trying to escape, which, unfortunately, knocks him out*  
  
***From the GET AWAY YA KNOW, Rajin, ya know, who is now in pain, ya know  
  
  
  
AN: That's all for now. If you are a Fujin or Raijin fan who think I was being a little mean or I was exaggerating too much, I'm sorry. It just kinda came to me and I wanted to write it so DON'T FLAME ME! Hope you enjoyed it. REVIEW PLZ! 


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